Back again! Almost one month after my last entry! So many things to blog about and my head is in a mess now. Every time when I sit around the house, I have inspiration of things to blog about but once I sit in front of the laptop, my mind goes blank! Talk about writer's block...
It's almost CNY! Yay! But some times I really dislike CNY. I have a mix of happy and unhappy moments and I refused to blog about the unhappy moments. I don't want to think about it and keep reminding myself of the nasty things I went through. These are not worth my time and I believe that God will restore what was lost and I will be blessed will multi-folds.
2009 First day of CNY was the day dear hub and I started dating! :D Heehee! So more good and precious memories to come!!
So... well if any human is reading this almost abandoned blog, my very first entry talks about my I.M.A.G.E. family. It simply means Daddy Ivan, Mommy MJ, Big Bro Aden, Bro Gibson and praying sincerely for Little Sister E. It's a combination of our initial. On top of that, after the birth of Aden, unfortunately, I had a miscarriage.
That first miscarriage, I didn't see it coming at all. I mean, of course who would have wanted such thing to happen. I had a perfect, almost 40 weeks pregnancy with Aden. I was young (24 then) and I was feeling healthy! It was devastating and a very painful experience. The week when I was at the gynae's clinic doing the ultrasound scan, when all was still well (the heart was still beating strong), I remembered hearing my gynae said that I have to be very careful before the 1st trimester ended. That was my second pregnancy and I should be pretty pro at what to lookout for. Yet, her sentence left a deep impression in me over the next three week and I was feeling rather uncomfortable and at the same time I've had nightmares at night. During the next visit to the gynae's clinic, when the moment of truth hit me, I felt so guilty and I couldnt stop crying. It was like a part of me died. I felt as if I'm a failed mother because I didn't realized the fetus had died inside me. However, with much encouragement from my dear hub and mom, and of course I still have to do my part as a mother to care for Aden, I picked myself up and try again for another baby about a year later.
Then my BabyG came into the picture. Shortly after Gib turns 6 months, I found out that I was pregnant again. This pregnancy was filled with a mixture of happiness and worries as I was still caring for Gib and adapting myself to being a mother of 2...Just when I was trying to get the news settled in me, I started experiencing spotting and by the time I went to the gynae, the fetus heartbeat had stopped. By now, my faith in God grew and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Though I was sad, I knew that God never forsake me and I continued to trust Him. Furthermore, I have to be even stronger now that I have 2 boys to care for. Indeed, I was stronger.
Now I'm living each day with a grateful heart and praying that having had 2 wonderful pregnancies with 2 lovely boys, it is not too greedy to ask for a girl, right?
